My Mother: Would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow? I’m making Admiral Cho’s chicken.
Me: Sure, but, just for the record, you mean General Tso’s chicken, right?
My Mother: (in a panicked voice) I. . . don’t. . . know. . . what I mean!

“He’s not the brightest tack.” -Mom, yet again mixing her metaphors

I love this woman, people.

And because Mom has been monopolizing the quote board:

Me: (making a wrap, asking for more lettuce) Can I have a little more?
Husband: You don’t want more. That’s potent stuff.
Me: (considering the lettuce) Really?
Husband: Yeah, trust me.
Me: I trust you, I’ve just never heard lettuce described as potent before.
Husband: Oh, it is. *pause* Wait. Did you ask for the lettuce? I thought we were talking about onions all this time.

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