(The following happened a long while ago. I’m only just writing about it now because I wanted to let enough time elapse that the offender wouldn’t recognize themselves in this post on the off chance they find it.)

An acquaintance of mine just had a horrible death in the family, a close and only sibling. It was one of those, out of the blue, taken way too soon kind of things that there are really no words for because you just feel so badly for everyone involved.

A day or two after it happened, she posted a message on Facebook, something to the effect of, “This is so hard, I don’t know how I’m going to get through this.” A perfectly valid thing to say under the circumstances.

Amongst the friends that wrote their perfectly acceptable replies of consolation and support, there was one of her friends that wrote the following:

I’m so sorry! I know when my dog died it was really hard at first but I got through it. But I’m a really strong person so it may be a lot harder for you. But hopefully it will be OK.

I think we can all agree that the person was trying to say the right thing and was genuinely attempting to console her friend. I also think that we can all agree she failed, pretty hardcore.

While attempting to console said friend, she instead managed to do all of the following:

• Belittle the death of her friend’s family member by comparing it to the death of a pet
• Out herself as a self-absorbed person who makes everything all about her
• Imply that her friend is weak and that she is the stronger person
• Imply some doubt that it will be OK
• Convince every single person who read that comment that she is a huge jerk

When I read this, I couldn’t believe it, it seems like something you’d make up for a character to say but I assure you it was real and I saw it with my own eyes.

If you are sitting in-person with a friend and they start to say something utterly ridiculous, you’d turn to them and say, “Will you listen to yourself?” When I see things like this, I find myself wondering if that’s the problem, that people don’t “listen” to themselves online or re-read what they write with the eyes of an outsider before they post it.

If you want to make an ass of yourself online, I suppose that is your prerogative but, in a case like this, what she said was insensitive and hurtful to someone who was already in a very bad place. If she’d have thought about how it sounded to her friend, she probably wouldn’t have posted it.

I am a huge culprit of speaking before I think, especially when I’m trying to be funny. But while you can’t un-say something you said aloud, before you post something online you can certainly take a few seconds to read that Twitter message, Facebook reply or blog post with the eye of an outsider. I think we could stop a lot of fights and hurt feeling before they start if we consider that our words may not read to others as they do to us.

Just think before you post, that’s all I and the rest of the world ask.

Guys… I’m really ticked.

Yesterday, we got a letter in the mail. It was hand addressed. The front was addressed to my husband (Mr. HusbandsFirstName HusbandsLastName) and the return address was a male name so I put it on the counter for him without another thought. Hours later, he comes home and opens it.

Inside the envelope was a super girlie invite to a wedding shower. I mean ribbons, glitter, the whole nine yards. The actually invite is not addressed to anyone but we recognize the name its being given for, its a member of Steve’s family. So we spend the next 15 minutes trying to puzzle this out.

Is it a guys only shower? Maybe its co-ed but they are only having immediate family and that’s why they invited only my husband? Why was the return address a guy? Is it a bachelor party and the girlie stuff is just a gag (we know someone who did this once)? If its a girl’s only shower, why did they invite only my husband? Am I supposed to go too if my name isn’t on the invite? Continue Reading »

I got rid of the little auto-posting of articles from my other blogs. No one had any comments on it either way but when my feed broke on two of my other websites it made that freak out so, until such time as there is a reliable weekly RSS digest post, I’m going to do them manually. We’ll see how long that lasts.

It is a mad, busy time over here as we approach the end of the proper retail season (well, until it kicks back into gear in the fall) so lots of work. Going to try to take an evening off tonight and go and see Prince of Persia for free movie night so we’ll see if that happens. I want to see that movie greatly but last Tuesday they had exactly one showing of it that wasn’t sold out and that was almost sold out so it may not be meant to be. If it is sold out, we are watching Alice in Wonderland: Tim Burton edition instead.

I think I may be getting sick as I have a stuffy nose/sore throat combo thing going on which is cramping my style. Also cramping my style is what I like to call “You work to much-itis” which is when too many hours on the computer give me pain in my wrists, elbows, neck and shoulders all at once making me a bit miserable. I get this frequently when I try to do too much like I’ve been doing lately but usually it comes at the end of a big barrage of work and then I can rest it. This has come in the middle of a barrage of work which is, frankly, rude of it. I’m in pain and kinda unhappy.

God, am I a whiner or what?

Which brings me to my next point: STFU

I always read this as Stuf because my brain wants everything to be a word but it’s hip kids text lingo for Shut the F- Up. Hip kids don’t seem to understand that you aren’t supposed to include little words like “the” in acronyms but I’m not going to be the one to tell them because they’ll be all “POS. OMG LMAO! STFU!!”

I actually know what all of that means, aren’t you proud? Especially considering how much I hate text messaging.

I am instituting the STFU Policy. I don’t know what the policy will entail exactly but it needs to encompass all of the following:

• I need to stop stressing. I don’t know how I’m going to do this because nothing stresses me more than when someone tells me I’m stressing and to stop or when I realize I am stressing but I seriously need to stop for health and sanity. I need to tell stress to STFU.
• I need to stop whining. (Well, expect when it’s in a professional capacity.) I don’t really whine to other people in person, I’m conscious of that and make a big effort to not do it, but I do throw little self-pity parties in my brain and on this blog. Right now is an excellent example. I can’t breath through my nose, my throat hurts, my joints are aching and I still have hours and hours of work ahead of me and I really feel like someone should be having some kind of parade in honor of me and my misery. But seriously, Hillary, STFU.
• I need to shut the f- up and work. Sometimes I spend a long time agonizing over which element of work I should do first, which is more important, etc and I need to just STFU and get started. The issue here is that I very often commit to doing A only to discover that B should have been done first. So maybe the solution is I just need to take less time deciding which to do first and not eliminate that process entirely. But I need to spend less time talking about the work to be done and STFU and do it!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, my tea water has finished boiling, my newest dose of Advril is in my hand and I need to STFU and work.