So, last week on The Whine Seller I wrote a post called Giving the people what they want even when you no longer understand why they want it. This post centered around a product I was refusing to sell, despite the fact that people still wanted to buy it, because I personally didn’t understand why anyone would want it. It was a post about being stubborn to the point of stupidity and trusting too blindly in your gut feelings over cold hard facts. On missing out on money for no reason other than pig-headedness, if you will.

This post may be the counterpoint to that. 

Last year, I came up with an idea for a Christmas play. It was dark and weird. Two things that aren’t necessarily desirable in a Christmas play, I’ll grant you.

I started to talk it out with friends and family as I do all my new ideas and was surprised to discover that almost everyone had a negative reaction. The best case was “I don’t know about that, Hill…” said while wrinkling their face and some people (including my mother who had some absolute GEMS to say about this idea that I will share with you later) actually tried to talk me out of writing it. It wasn’t that they thought the idea was bad. It was that the subject matter was too dark or weird or crossed some line.

But I liked the idea and I was convinced that all the objections were because people were picturing it one way in their head and that was wasn’t the way I was going to write it. I started to write the play (you’ll have noticed “Holiday Play” was on the list of projects I worked on in 2011 even though I’ve never really talked about it before).

It was terrifying.

Normally, when I start something new, I’ve had at least a few people tell me that my idea “sounds good” or at least indicate that they’d be interested to read it. This time out, I was writing something I knew all of my usual cheerleaders were leery about (there’s a pun in there I’m frankly disappointed in myself for not being able to make). I was writing in this bubble where I was putting words on paper and, instead of thinking about pleasing my ideal reader, I was thinking about fighting against their prejudices about the idea in the first place. It was a very strange and lonely place to be writing from.

Especially since I was writing a comedy. I didn’t just need to win people over. I needed to win them so far over they’d laugh.

Side note: Many people have told me that I’m funny. My bestselling play is a comedy. But I do NOT think I’m funny at all and when I’m trying to be funny on purpose? It’s this hopeless mess of over-thinking everything and convincing myself I’m a total failure. So writing this play was basically this absolute nightmare for me. It mostly involved my shaking my head at words on the screen going, why did I ever think I could be funny?

I knew they only way I’d get through this was to give myself a deadline and so I forced myself to finish the play by last Friday. And I’ll be darned if I didn’t rather like the fool thing now that it was finished. Things came together in ways that felt like someone else set them up and… like everything I write these days… the play is almost a metaphor for itself. It’s weird and dark still, yes, but it also ended up sort of holiday-heart-warming in a strange, what-goes-on-in-the-deep-recesses-of-Hillary’s-twisted-mind kind of way. But I’d thought it was a good idea from the start so my opinion didn’t really matter… what would readers say?

My husband is always my first reader because I talk out so much of anything I write to him that he’s usually the one with the closest perspective on what I’m trying to do. But I’d been so weird about this play when I was writing it, I’d told him almost nothing about this one. He was also one of the many who didn’t think this play was the greatest idea.

He didn’t want to read it. Usually, I send him something and it’s read before I come downstairs to tell him he doesn’t have to rush and read it right away. I finally had to beg him on Monday to read it because I wanted to send it to beta readers before the end of this week. He was in a terrible mood and was nagged into reading it so I was dreading his response. I called my godmom and talked about books for a while to distract myself while he read it.

I went back into the kitchen to hang up the phone. Husband turned from his computer and said, “I’m almost done, one second.” But he was smiling. This massive smile. This would seem more impressive if you’d see the horrifying bad mood he’d been in before. But he was downright cheery all of the sudden.

So I go upstairs to basically do the maternity ward waiting room pace because how am I supposed to concentrate on anything now? Clearly the play was not terrible. Or was it so terrible he was laughing at how bad it was?

He loved it. Usually I get a “It’s good, but…” after a first read but he actually gushed about it and told me he wanted to see it on stage so badly no less than three times. I was totally thrown by this response.

I’d been expecting him to tell me it was a mess, to hate it. I’d forced him to read it when I did because I’d expected to do at least a week of edits before I sent it to readers. He had literally one line he had a problem with… we worked on it and I started digging up beta readers that night. I wrote the play in such a bubble that my perspective on it is so horribly muddled, I’m wasn’t even sure I should believe him. Granted, he’s my husband, he’s never going to tell me something sucks but he’s also a pretty critical reader. If it was as terrible as it seemed in my head, he would have said so.

So, I sent out an open call to my friends to get some beta readers and am getting responses back. And while I’m waiting to hear what a few more people say, one thing seems to be abundantly clear: I was right to follow my gut and write this play even though everyone else said nay. I was, as I suspected, onto something.

But there’s still one more hurdle. The person with the most objections to it from the start hasn’t read it yet. So I’ll be waiting in tense anticipation until I hear what my mother has to say.

The lesson here? Sometimes being stubborn when it’s something you believe in can pay off in the end.

Have you ever stuck with your gut to good results?

I’ve mentioned the project affectionately called Asplode many times now but I’ve never really told you anything about it. In fact, the #1 most asked question I got throughout both this and last year’s NaNoWriMo was, “No, seriously, what’s your book about?” because I could never give a good answer. So, to anyone who’s curious what this project is about, I’m going to try to explain. This could be long.

You’re going to find it funny that I rarely talk about this book on the blog after you read this because it’s an overwhelming majority of the writing I’ve done this year and pretty much all I think about. You see, guys… this book is the bane of my existence. I’m hoping to help you understand why by giving you a little history. 

When I was in middle school, I wrote a book that we’ll call Proto-Asplode. It was a mystery with a romance… and ghosts. Also, like many things one writes when one is a teen, it was terrible. But while I decided that I was no longer interested in writing that book, I was somewhat enamored with the unabashed teenage-ness to the story. It was, appropriately enough, exactly the sort of book that a teen would write. There was something so stereo-typically cheesy about this book as “indulgent teenage angst writing” that I found myself still drawn to it.

In the meantime, I was thinking about a very loose idea for NaNo 2010 about a mystery in which a viral marketing campaign goes horribly awry when these two trains of thought collided. What if the viral marketing campaign that goes awry is a teen doing marketing for a book she wrote and self-published? And, of course, the book that she’s written is good ole Proto-Asplode. There’s a lot more to this story then just that (which is part of why I’m having so much trouble with it) but this is what I started out with.

I was so busy leading up to NaNo 2010 with it being my first year as an ML and the worst of the issues with my hands that I did no outlining of this idea whatsoever. I figured I’d be OK for two reasons: 1) I already knew at least part of the story from the book I’d written as a teen and 2) thousands of people “pants” (write by the seat of their pants) NaNoWriMo every year and it works out just fine. So, even though I am usually a plotter (aka I plan stuff out ahead of time) I decided to see how the other half lives and try to write this story with no plan.

I also decided to write the book in first person. Full discolsure: I really don’t like books in the first person. But I was writing this book entirely with the Dragon NaturallySpeaking dictation program so I thought that first person would make it easier for talking it out. So, not only was I trying to write a book with no plan, I was trying to write it from a perspective I don’t really care for. I mention this because I’m trying to figure out where I went so horribly wrong with this project.

I wrote the book. As advertised, the characters moved the story along in their own way and the story went some surprising places even without a plan. All sorts of rich and interesting things happened I didn’t expect. But I finished the book with an ending that felt satisfying without ever having revealed whodunit which made me question if this book was meant to be a mystery at all. Even as I was writing it I began to suspect this book wasn’t about what I thought it was about. I was frustrated because I’d ended the month with a draft that wasn’t really anything and I didn’t know where to go next.

So I let it sit. In that time, I thought about it a ton while I was doing final edits on both Three Oranges and Mistress Novel. After 6 months, I thought I had it. I came up with a real honest to God working title (instead of the silly Asplode that I was calling it as a joke) and sat down and wrote  the book over again entirely from scratch. What I’d concluded in that 6 month interval was that the characters and setting were really solid and strong… it was just the plot that didn’t work. So Asplode 2.0 was the same characters in a completely different plot. Parts of it worked great and I was really excited about the new version. I really thought I could be ready to query it by the end of 2011.

As we edged closer to NaNoWriMo 2011, I realized the new plot wasn’t working any better than the original. Things hardcore fell apart. (To put this in perspective, my new working title was about a season… that the book no longer took place in.) I had intended to use NaNoWriMo to just finish the book but I was sitting there in October outlining an entirely new plot. Asplode 3.0 was to be an entirely new story using the same characters. I went through two other working titles I thought were it before I just gave up and went back to calling it Asplode.

To my surprise, as I started writing during NaNo 2011, scenes from Asplodes 2.0 and 1.0 kept finding their way into the story even though the plot was entirely different in this version. Surely this meant I was onto something, no? But while I actually managed to write a version of the story that makes sense from start to finish, it still isn’t really working. I resolved to let it sit again and see what developed. Then a few nights ago, I had what felt like an epiphany and spend many hours outlining what would be Asplode 4.0 (8 pages, this outline was, written in the middle of the night like a crazy person) but, while it’s better, it’s still not quite it. It’s getting better though. I think.

See, I’m having trouble figuring out what goes into this book and what doesn’t. I’ve cut and re-added scenes so many times I genuinely have no idea what should be in the book at all anymore. I’m a “nothing is sacred” editor and I’d be happy to cut stuff… but I don’t know which things to cut. I’ve cut different core elements in each of the three drafts and realized I needed each of them as I wrote. Every time I think I’ve got it figured out, instead I’ve just found another way that won’t work.

I’m getting frustrated. Because if the story wasn’t working at all, I would know to just walk away. But parts work VERY well and I suspect it’s some of the best stuff I’ve ever written. And I think the fact that I can’t stop working on this book means there’s something to it, even if I don’t know what that is yet. I’ve had that feeling of being THIS CLOSE to having it right for a year+ now.

I’ve written many things in my life all the way to the end. With every story, play, novel, or even blog post I’ve seen the problems and have been able to eventually work through them to something I’m satisfied with. I’ve never had a project like this before. I can’t figure out how the heck to fix it. I don’t know what story these characters belong in. I have never more genuinely felt like I have no idea what I’m doing.

I know they say that the experience of writing every book is different but I have, basically, written this book completely over from nothing but the characters three full times now. Four if you count Proto-Asplode. Shouldn’t I know what it’s about by now?

This post may seem a little doom and gloom but, rest assured, I’m still writing. I’m still letting the 2011 draft of Asplode 3.0 sit even if I’m jotting down notes about future drafts as they come to me. I’m also still working on my (too many) other works in progress in the meantime. I’m not taking time away from projects that are working to poke at Asplode. But this project is consuming a lot of my thoughts because it bothers me that I can’t figure out how to fix it and I wanted to give you an understanding of where my mind is with this.

I hate this book. Though, clearly, not enough to stop writing it…

Any advice?

Image via Wikipedia

It’s pretty darn cold out there right now so it’s hard to remember that Spring is right around the corner. For schools, this means you’ll need to start thinking about your next musical. But money is tight everywhere and musicals can be so expensive… if only you had something that could showcase a large number of students and a wide variety of talent without all the extra costs of a musical.

Have you considered The Love of Three Oranges? It’s not a musical but it has many of the same elements of the usual staples and it’s less than half the cost to perform! Let me explain why ditching the show tunes for the trio citrus can not only save your school big bucks… it may actually be a better fit for your student cast.

1. Emphasis on the ensemble instead of a single male and female lead. Wouldn’t it be nice not to have the tears and drama when you post the cast list? There are not only up to 16 major roles, the play is written so that each character gets their moment to steal the scene and take the spotlight. Instead of having to turn away budding talent, you’ll be able to showcase as many students as possible to nurture your drama program for years to come.
2. Flexible cast size and gender ratio. You can’t really predict your audition turn out. Need more female roles? Less? No problem! Most of the roles are written to easily be played by either gender. Need to increase or decrease the cast size? Not only can several of the speaking roles be played by the same actors if need be, the ensemble (think of it as a non-singing chorus) can be as large or as small as you need to include everyone you want to include.
3. Opportunity to showcase a variety of talents including puppetry, dance, juggling and, yes… music and singing. One of the best things about the show is that there are multiple scenes that leave room for you and your cast to get creative. Many schools have inserted musical moments in past productions so the opportunity is there if you want to highlight a particular vocal talent without having to pay for a whole score. But beyond music, it’s a great chance to highlight unusual skills your students don’t normally get to show off.  Have a tumbler in your ranks? A gymnast? How about a ventriloquist, song writer or musician? The extra flexibility lets you play to the strengths of your cast, instead of trying to cram them into a show they may not be a good fit for.
4. Teenager (not to mention curriculum) friendly. I was a student actor. The old standards like Rogers and Hammerstein et al are… dated. Sure, I have the same affection for those old shows as any theatre alumni but, when I was actually in them as a teen? They felt like ancient history even then. Three Oranges gives you the opportunity to update the show as much as you want so your cast can relate more closely to the material they are putting on. Even better? Think of the lesson plan tie-ins! Commedia dell’arte, puppetry, comedy, Italian theatre… A wide variety of teachers can require their classes to attend for the educational tie-in giving you even more audience. You won’t get that with yet another production of Carousel!

In short, Three Oranges gives you many of the things you love about a musical… while eliminating many of the things you don’t. You aren’t just being thrifty with your budget without sacrificing that musical feel… you’re giving your actors meatier material to work with and a show your audience hasn’t already seen hundreds of times.

Still not sold? You can read the play for free on the Playscripts website and decide for yourself if it’ll be a good fit.

Looking for something to do with your NaNoWriMo novel? What about that novel you wrote years ago that’s just been taking up space in a drawer?

The Amazon 2012 Breakthrough Novel Award Contest (good grief, what a redundant name) is now open for entries! This contest is free to enter and open to adult and YA, unpublished and self-published novels. The deadline to enter is midnight on February 5th, though they only take the first 5,000 entrants in each category so you’ll want to get your entry in as soon as possible to make sure that you don’t miss out. The prize is not only a large cash advance but a publishing deal with Penguin so it’s a great opportunity to get your book in front of a variety of editors and publishers.

If you decide to enter, let us know below so we can keep our fingers crossed for you!

I usually just pop onto Goodreads to add whatever I’ve read recently and I don’t always remember to look at my own books which is why it took me so long to notice this review from Katie:

A big thank you to Katie for taking the time to write all of that up. This has inspired me to finally write up some of the disasters that happened during the original production for future blog posts. If anyone else has been in a production and want’s to share their stories on the blog, drop me an email!

Now I’m just left with one question… lightsabers?

Remember how insanely ahead of my goals I was last January? How I wrote every day and exceeded my goals like a boss? Yeah… to be on pace to hit my goal of 500,000 by the end of the year I should be at 20,548 words today. I just crossed 10,000….

But you know what? I’m not worried. Yes, I’m behind at the moment but I have already finished some major stuff this year writing wise AND had some very exciting things happen behind the scenes. I feel like my writing career is off the the best possible start this year and I know I’ll get those numbers up as the year goes on.

So I feel no shame as I post my count which is still much higher than it was a few days before I WROTE AN ENTIRE PLAY IN 2 DAYS LIKE A BEAST. (Side note: Don’t be jealous. The play is terrible.)

And now, potato and I shall retire to spend the rest of the night getting tipsy on cheap wine, eating mozzarella sticks and watching the Golden Globes.

Aw yeah…

Over the summer, I took a playwriting class. One week, for our assignment, I handed in a scene from The Muppet Play which happens to take place in a subway car. The instructor praised this scene as being an unusual setting, one you didn’t often see in plays, which made me insanely self-conscious. Not because I can’t take praise but instead because…

I realized as he said it that have never written a play for adults that DOESN’T have at least one scene that takes place in a subway. In fact, the entire play of Daddy Issues takes play on a subway platform. There even was a subway scene in TheLibrary before I self-consciously cut it out after noticing my apparent obsession with subways on stage.

Why am I seemingly incapable of not writing subways into my adult stage plays? OK, I did work in New York for many years and commute via subway every day but I also took a bus everyday and I haven’t had the urge to add buses into any of my plays.

Then I noticed something else… The two short stories for adults I’ve outlined recently? Both have subways, one featuring subway cars in a very major role.

But of all the YA novels, short stories and plays I have in various states of finished… there is only one subway and it’s really more of an underground train station, not NYC type subway like the others. My YA is mostly subway free, even the ones that take place in cities.

What the heck? What is going on in my subconscious that content for adults = subways. Is it because I commuted via subway for my first real adult job and I associate it with being an adult? Is it some NYC centric world view that everyone commutes to work via subway train? Is it symbolic of my relationship with rats? What?

I give you permission to psychoanalyze what is going on in my mind here with the subway obsession. Have you ever noticed an unintentional theme in your writing?

Oh, and today is the last day to grab a free copy of Daddy Issues (aka the subway play to end all subway plays) if you haven’t already. You’ve only got until midnight PST so get on that before the train leaves the station, if you will.

I covered my picks for monologues out of The Love of Three Oranges in this post so I thought it would be a good idea to do the same for my newest play.

If you’re a young woman looking for a dramatic monologue, I’d suggest checking out Daddy Issues where Amelia has a powerful dramatic monologue towards the end of the play. Since this play is brand new, you can rest assured that this speech hasn’t already been done to death and you’ll have a chance to show off your acting chops without worrying that your teacher or director is comparing you to everyone else they’ve ever seen perform the same speech.

While the play is normally a mere 99 cents, from January 9th through 13th, you can grab the whole thing completely for free here.

I love hearing from schools and students that performed sections of The Love of Three Oranges in competition and I can’t wait to see how you do with my newest play. If you’re doing Daddy Issues either in competition or for a class, please share your story below!

It’s coming up on that time of year again. You need a scene for you and  your partner to do for your acting class final project. Or you really want to wow them in competition this year but you want something that hasn’t been done a billion times before.

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. With a run time of just about 15 minutes, Daddy Issues is an excellent choice for competitions and classrooms with its simple staging and small cast (just 1 male, 1 female needed). The advantage of a shorter 1 Act play like this is that you can perform the whole thing instead of having to create a hacked up version that barely makes sense to fit into the time constraints.

While the play is normally a mere 99 cents, from January 9th through 13th, you can grab the whole thing completely for free here.

I love hearing from schools and students that performed sections of The Love of Three Oranges in competition and I can’t wait to see how you do with my newest play. If you’re doing Daddy Issues either in competition or for a class, please share your story below!

I know how it is. You’ve been meaning to grab a copy of my newest play, Daddy Issues, but you kept forgetting. Well, now you really have no excuse.

While the play is normally a mere 99 cents, from January 9th through 13th, you can grab the whole thing completely for free. That applies no matter how many people download and you don’t even need a coupon or anything fancy. Just follow this link and the whole play will be yours in a few clicks.

Download a copy for yourself and then make your father grab one too. (This play is a real Dad pleaser.) Heck, get all your theatre buddies to snag a free copy or every random person you know! No matter how many copies go out, the entire play is still free to anyone and everyone during this 5 day promotion. Pretty neat, huh?

Don’t have a Kindle? Here’s how to read your free copy on your computer, cell phone or tablet.

Oh and if you do take advantage of this free copy promotion, I’d greatly appreciate your taking a moment to write up a brief review of the book on Amazon!

But, remember, you only have until Friday the 13th to take advantage of this offer so you should probably go grab your free copy right now before you forget again.