It’s September 1st (or, it was 2 hours or so ago). I did not meet my goal of finishing the editing this draft of my novel by the end of August. Not happy about that.

People frequently ask me how I self-motivate and get stuff done and the answer is that, largely, I trick myself with made up challenges and goals. I build these up as important in my brain and force myself to meet them.

Of course, if I miss a goal, this becomes a huge problem because my brain sees that there is really no consequence for not meeting the goal and it makes it all very “What is the point of it all?” and that much harder to trick myself into the next goal.

I could go on about this, but I won’t.

So, I’m back to editing. I had to take a several week detour into rewriting as I rearranged several main events in the story, thereby scrambling a large chunk of the book. So I’ve basically been “first drafting” this new version of the section for a while and today is the first time I’m back to real editing again.

My current issues:

• Everything before the section I rewrote is a really solid second draft quality. Then there is the rewritten section which is basically a first draft mess. Should I go all the way back to the beginning and edit the “new” stuff before moving on? I voted no since I know I’m going to have to go back through everything again anyway but ugh, it annoys me to move on knowing there is something unfinished behind me. Was moving ahead the wrong choice?
• I spent so much time fixing plot holes and rearranging time and space in the last few weeks, I have totally lost the flow of my story. Tension? Drama? It’s pretty much gone. Do I keep writing and hope to regain these things on the second go around or is this another case for going back to the beginning? I know I’ll get it back eventually but right now, blah. 
• I feel like this draft is the “make sure everything makes sense” draft and next draft will be the “make the writing all pretty and good” draft. But should I be working to make this draft both at once? I have no idea.
• I’m disheartened by my inability to estimate how long editing will take me.

A few months ago, I talked to my Beta readers and told them I’d have a draft for them soon. Now I wonder what crack I was on when I said that. Even without getting slowed down by the rewrites, editing has been insanely slow going. I know it’s not something I can rush and I know I’m specifically taking my time, trying to get it right. I know I also have a day job, a life and ailing relatives. But I feel like an idiot that every time I estimate when I’ll be done, I never seem to even be close.

It’s not like I think my Beta readers are sitting around going, “What the hell is taking her so long?” but it’s more like I’m sitting around saying, “What the hell is taking me so long?”  I know I’m working on it consistantly and I also know that, as my first time ever editing something this long, it’s going to take me a very long time. I don’t expect to be a pro out of the gate but, man, I feel like this is taking forever. I’m working hard, am I maybe not working smart enough?

Anyway, I’m not trying to bring anyone down, just looking for some advice. What would you do in this case? Go back to the beginning and try to edit the new section into perfect before moving on? Focus on good writing and good sense in the same draft? Go to bed before 3 AM once in a while?

I think I should probably do that last one. Night all!

PS: Only 1,175 words away from 125,000, should hit that tomorrow. But only 26,175 words away from 150,000 which is what I need to hit before November. At my current rate, I should be there ahead of schedule if all goes to plan. So there’s that.

I’m too tired to give you a real post but I figured I should mark this momentous word count with a potato.

I want you all to know that, as of a week ago I was hugely, massively behind. I have edited and written so much in the last few days you guys would be proud, especially since I did it all with lots of day job work in between and a freaking dental filling where I had a really bad reaction to the Novocaine and was all messed up for 24 hours.

Also? Today was my highest word count day for the year so far! I wrote over 7k words today which is actually weak compared to some of my NaNoWriMo days from last year but that’s fine. My second highest day is from Script Frenzy so I’m extra proud of myself that I did it without a contest to spur me on. All but about 1k was new writing too!

Anyway, rah rah, yay and all that but I’m going to bed now.

Sometimes you have a good night and you get a bunch of writing done and you decide that’s enough for tonight and go to hang out with your husband… and he’s in the middle of taking apart a laptop and the pile of wire and bolts on his lap indicates that he probably doesn’t want to hang out with you at the moment. Soooo, you go back upstairs and write a blog post, that’s what you do!

It’s been a busy/crazy last few weeks with family stuff bad (health badness for some beloved relatives) and good (my brother from FL came to visit for a week!) and my husband and I just wanted to crawl into a hole and ignore everyone for a few days. I hate admitting when I feel like that because I don’t want my family and friends to not think I love them, because I do, but something what the doctor ordered is nothing, you know? I feel like just admitting it is better than being all “I have to wash my hair” or making up an excuse. We are just being anti-social. It happens. Continue Reading »