Even NaNoWriMo cheerleaders get the blues: a pathetic, discouraging day of writing

What a cheery post title, eh? I promise its not as bad as it sounds.

So I made a point to get ahead with my word count because I knew I wasn’t going to be able to write on Tues or Wed of this week and set the goal for myself to hit 15,000 when I returned on Thursday.

See, when I sit down to write, I am usually always writing a second draft. I write my first drafts in my head while I go about my life so that when I’m actually in front of the computer, I’m just typing out thoughts I’ve already organized in my head.

While I have outlined my whole NaNo novel, I have been so busy since I left it last that I haven’t gotten a chance to let my brain be idle. This is a problem, because it means I’m typing an actual, literal first draft, something I never do.

Actual, literal first drafts are not my friend.

I was dead tired tonight but I said, to heck with it, write anyway and started plodding away on unformed ideas and the false awake of tea. I got 1,985 words added to the count but it was a new level of terrible hitherto unexplored. I don’t mind writing and knowing a part needs to be reworked. Often I’m writing a scene going, “This dialogue doesn’t work but let me get down the general ideas, I’ll fix it up later.” Even if I don’t let my inner editor out to play, she does pipe up during writing and that’s fine.

This was more along the lines of, “I don’t think I even need this scene, there is no point to it at all.” Is that a good thing to realize during editing? Yes. A good thing to realize while writing? No because it feel like wasting time. It wasn’t so much that my writing was bad. It was more that I strayed from my outline and not in a “good I’m being creative” way but rather a “now the book doesn’t even make sense” way. I need to get back on track but I’m not sure exactly where I went wrong. Sleep may help with this.

There is this robot in my book. He is problematic. I want to get rid of him but a large percentage of “stage business” as it were revolves around him so this is easier said than done. This entire chapter was dealing with this stage business. This chapter also revolved around some scientific elements that I didn’t want to take the time to research before I started but I really should have because I had no idea what I was talking about and it was really slowing me down.

So the lesson learned is that I need to take some time tomorrow, whether it be taking a walk or just talking my story out to myself while I fold laundry, to work out what needs to happen next before I try to write the next section. Don’t get me wrong, there are days when I can totally bust decent prose out of totally thin air with no prior plan but when I am half asleep is not one of those times.

I also need to do some research or at least talk some of this science stuff out with my engineer husband because I am out of my league.

I know some people can write about something they know nothing about but I am not one of those people. I need to be able to “see” something before I can write it. Perhaps this makes me a loser, no one can say for sure. 😉

Either way, I went over the 1,667 required for a daily effort and found some massive plot holes which I consider a good thing because it gives me a chance to fix them before I get much father. (Clarification: When I say fix them, I mean fix them going forward and just make a note to go back and fix. I never go back and edit while doing NaNo, that defeats the whole purpose.)

As for my goal of 15,000? Well I stopped 338 words short of it.

I tried. Holy god did I try. I jumped ahead. I tried to skip this hard part and write the next chapter instead. But this plot hole I discovered really needs to be mentally worked out before I can keep writing so I admitted defeat for the night within spitting distance of my goal.

I’m not really filled with rage, just more tired and annoyed but I so rarely get to use the really angry little potato, let’s give him a chance to shine today:

Sooo close to 30%!

But don’t be mad little potato! Tomorrow, my writer friends, is another day. Hope your day of writing was much less frustrating than mine. 🙂