From the mailbag: Use a pen name or publish under your real name?

Some quick business before we begin: If you’re local, I’m doing an intro to writing talk at the Parsippany Library this Saturday, September 26 at 1 pm. It’s free of charge, but you do need to register ahead of time to reserve your place here.

Speaking of local events, today’s topic is directly related to the intersection between Real You and Writer You.

“Do you recommend choosing a pen name or publishing under your real name?”

This one came in from the mailbag via regular old email. It’s a question that I think a lot of people worry about and something I personally have gone back and forth on throughout my life so I wanted to devote a whole post to it.

Publicity vs Privacy

Hillary DePiano is my real, legal name. 

While I was sensible enough not to give out my personal information on the internet when I first logged on as a teen, I did use my real name when I started putting my writing out there in my early 20s. In part because of the childish desire to see my name on a book cover I think we all have to some extent. But mostly because it was just simpler. No additional registration or steps needed. It made it a lot easier to handle in person events such as teaching local workshops (such as the one above), appearing on panels or interacting with other writers and clients.

I do a lot of in-person events. School appearances, conventions, writing group meetings, Zoom workshops, and giving talks are all easier when you’re working under your real name because there’s no additional layer. There’s an authenticity to being your real self that makes it easier to network and connect person-to-person.

There IS a kind of marketing benefit to writing under your real name. Whenever you introduce yourself, that’s getting your author name out there. If you meet me at a conference or hear me on a podcast (same as if we just meet at a PTA meeting or at the gym), when you see my name later, you’ll get that ping of recognition that makes you more likely to check out my stuff.

Granted, it helps that my name is unique enough that you can find me pretty easily, even if you spell it wrong.

Plus, people love to brag that they know someone “famous.” Many of my real life acquaintances have given me amazing word of mouth even without ever reading my stuff because they simply recognized my name and wanted to flex to strangers that they knew me.

The other side of this same coin, though, is that people can be creepy about it. “Fans” picked out innocuous details from my books and blog posts and used them to harass my family and friends. When I became a parent, that added a whole new level of fear because I knew anything I said under my real name would reflect on my kids and had the potential to hurt them.

Something that happened to a writer friend of mine: They had a bad day and posted a frustrated Facebook post about how they wanted to “kill” a friend’s ex. Ill advised? Maybe. Hyperbole? Clearly. But readers took a screenshot of the post and passed it around, claiming the author advocated violence. That friend is STILL on reader block lists even though that happened YEARS ago.

Existing as a semi-public figure is a lot like the nightmare of giving a presentation in your underwear. People ARE watching and you can’t use the internet like you could as a “normal person” anymore. It’s exposing and can have a negative effect on your personal life.

For that reason, I have often wished I did NOT use my real name as my author name. In fact, it’s one of the main reasons my new pen name is entirely secret and you’ll likely never see me reveal it on this blog.

For me, privacy > any marketing or networking benefit I got from using my real name.

Branding