A brief history of the project called Asplode (aka my NaNoWriMo 2010 & 2011 novel)

I’ve mentioned the project affectionately called Asplode many times now but I’ve never really told you anything about it. In fact, the #1 most asked question I got throughout both this and last year’s NaNoWriMo was, “No, seriously, what’s your book about?” because I could never give a good answer. So, to anyone who’s curious what this project is about, I’m going to try to explain. This could be long.

You’re going to find it funny that I rarely talk about this book on the blog after you read this because it’s an overwhelming majority of the writing I’ve done this year and pretty much all I think about. You see, guys… this book is the bane of my existence. I’m hoping to help you understand why by giving you a little history. 

When I was in middle school, I wrote a book that we’ll call Proto-Asplode. It was a mystery with a romance… and ghosts. Also, like many things one writes when one is a teen, it was terrible. But while I decided that I was no longer interested in writing that book, I was somewhat enamored with the unabashed teenage-ness to the story. It was, appropriately enough, exactly the sort of book that a teen would write. There was something so stereo-typically cheesy about this book as “indulgent teenage angst writing” that I found myself still drawn to it.

In the meantime, I was thinking about a very loose idea for NaNo 2010 about a mystery in which a viral marketing campaign goes horribly awry when these two trains of thought collided. What if the viral marketing campaign that goes awry is a teen doing marketing for a book she wrote and self-published? And, of course, the book that she’s written is good ole Proto-Asplode. There’s a lot more to this story then just that (which is part of why I’m having so much trouble with it) but this is what I started out with.

I was so busy leading up to NaNo 2010 with it being my first year as an ML and the worst of the issues with my hands that I did no outlining of this idea whatsoever. I figured I’d be OK for two reasons: 1) I already knew at least part of the story from the book I’d written as a teen and 2) thousands of people “pants” (write by the seat of their pants) NaNoWriMo every year and it works out just fine. So, even though I am usually a plotter (aka I plan stuff out ahead of time) I decided to see how the other half lives and try to write this story with no plan.

I also decided to write the book in first person. Full discolsure: I really don’t like books in the first person. But I was writing this book entirely with the Dragon NaturallySpeaking dictation program so I thought that first person would make it easier for talking it out. So, not only was I trying to write a book with no plan, I was trying to write it from a perspective I don’t really care for. I mention this because I’m trying to figure out where I went so horribly wrong with this project.

I wrote the book. As advertised, the characters moved the story along in their own way and the story went some surprising places even without a plan. All sorts of rich and interesting things happened I didn’t expect. But I finished the book with an ending that felt satisfying without ever having revealed whodunit which made me question if this book was meant to be a mystery at all. Even as I was writing it I began to suspect this book wasn’t about what I thought it was about. I was frustrated because I’d ended the month with a draft that wasn’t really anything and I didn’t know where to go next.

So I let it sit. In that time, I thought about it a ton while I was doing final edits on both Three Oranges and Mistress Novel. After 6 months, I thought I had it. I came up with a real honest to God working title (instead of the silly Asplode that I was calling it as a joke) and sat down and wrote  the book over again entirely from scratch. What I’d concluded in that 6 month interval was that the characters and setting were really solid and strong… it was just the plot that didn’t work. So Asplode 2.0 was the same characters in a completely different plot. Parts of it worked great and I was really excited about the new version. I really thought I could be ready to query it by the end of 2011.

As we edged closer to NaNoWriMo 2011, I realized the new plot wasn’t working any better than the original. Things hardcore fell apart. (To put this in perspective, my new working title was about a season… that the book no longer took place in.) I had intended to use NaNoWriMo to just finish the book but I was sitting there in October outlining an entirely new plot. Asplode 3.0 was to be an entirely new story using the same characters. I went through two other working titles I thought were it before I just gave up and went back to calling it Asplode.

To my surprise, as I started writing during NaNo 2011, scenes from Asplodes 2.0 and 1.0 kept finding their way into the story even though the plot was entirely different in this version. Surely this meant I was onto something, no? But while I actually managed to write a version of the story that makes sense from start to finish, it still isn’t really working. I resolved to let it sit again and see what developed. Then a few nights ago, I had what felt like an epiphany and spend many hours outlining what would be Asplode 4.0 (8 pages, this outline was, written in the middle of the night like a crazy person) but, while it’s better, it’s still not quite it. It’s getting better though. I think.

See, I’m having trouble figuring out what goes into this book and what doesn’t. I’ve cut and re-added scenes so many times I genuinely have no idea what should be in the book at all anymore. I’m a “nothing is sacred” editor and I’d be happy to cut stuff… but I don’t know which things to cut. I’ve cut different core elements in each of the three drafts and realized I needed each of them as I wrote. Every time I think I’ve got it figured out, instead I’ve just found another way that won’t work.

I’m getting frustrated. Because if the story wasn’t working at all, I would know to just walk away. But parts work VERY well and I suspect it’s some of the best stuff I’ve ever written. And I think the fact that I can’t stop working on this book means there’s something to it, even if I don’t know what that is yet. I’ve had that feeling of being THIS CLOSE to having it right for a year+ now.

I’ve written many things in my life all the way to the end. With every story, play, novel, or even blog post I’ve seen the problems and have been able to eventually work through them to something I’m satisfied with. I’ve never had a project like this before. I can’t figure out how the heck to fix it. I don’t know what story these characters belong in. I have never more genuinely felt like I have no idea what I’m doing.

I know they say that the experience of writing every book is different but I have, basically, written this book completely over from nothing but the characters three full times now. Four if you count Proto-Asplode. Shouldn’t I know what it’s about by now?

This post may seem a little doom and gloom but, rest assured, I’m still writing. I’m still letting the 2011 draft of Asplode 3.0 sit even if I’m jotting down notes about future drafts as they come to me. I’m also still working on my (too many) other works in progress in the meantime. I’m not taking time away from projects that are working to poke at Asplode. But this project is consuming a lot of my thoughts because it bothers me that I can’t figure out how to fix it and I wanted to give you an understanding of where my mind is with this.

I hate this book. Though, clearly, not enough to stop writing it…

Any advice?