We were at a friend’s wedding some time ago and in the middle of the ceremony, my husband leans over and whispers, “Why did they crucify Chuck Norris?” I look up and see this:
I spent the rest of the ceremony trying to avoid looking at it because it just kept making me laugh which is obviously neither the appropriate response to the crucifix or to a wedding. But since when does Jesus have red hair? But seriously, in person, the more you looked at it, the more it looked exactly like Chuck Norris. So, of course, husband keeps making me laugh more, by saying things like, “Chuck Norris died for your sins, fool!” You really can’t take him anywhere.
When we went back to that same church a few years later for a Christening, we had to grab a cell phone shot. Not the best picture ever, but you get the idea.
Of course, if your Jesus is Chuck Norris, you really need to upgrade the rest of the holy family so I think it’s appropriate that Chuck Norris Jesus has a bird of prey Holy Spirit.
The moral? Obviously, the people who go to this church are far more bad ass Catholics than the rest of us can ever hope to be.
I’d love to hear your guesses as to how they’d portray Mary in the comments.
Hillary DePiano is a playwright, fiction and non-fiction writer who loves writing of all kinds except for writing bios like this.
