Posted by on Dec 8, 2010 in External Stimuli | 0 comments

Disney, you know this thing? It’s cool, I’ll grant you and I love all the random characters on it but I have several questions.

Let’s talk about this:

Pluto’s House.

Forget the fact that Mickey’s dog apparently doesn’t live with him and has a house as large as any of the “people.” I’ve come to peace with that part of Disney logic. The real burning question is why does Peg Leg Pete live in Pluto’s attic?

And, for that matter, why is Pete poised to throw a boot at, one can only assume, his landlord when he comes out of the door?

Are we getting a rare glimpse here into Pete in his bachelor days before he married Peg and moved next door to Goofy during Goof Troop? Having to live in a cramped one window attic while a dog had the entire rest of the house to himself?

Where did Pluto get a bone that big for a door knob? Is it a human femur from one of Pete’s murder sprees? Have we stumbled upon something more sinister: Pete and Pluto live together so that Pete can commit murder and have Pluto bury the evidence in the backyard? Either way, all of these are not thoughts a Christmas decoration should be giving me.

All the time Pete was menacing Mickey Mouse, his arch nemesis was his dog’s roommate? This brings up all sorts of questions and conspiracy theories.

And, hello, when did Pluto have the chance to spawn an entire litter of puppies? Who is the mother? If he has an entire house to himself, why can’t his bastard children live with him instead of having to hang below his house in a wreath? A wreath decorated with more bones which, again, kinda creepy.

Again, the set as a whole: really cool. It’s just this one piece that is raises several questions for me, the rest of it is just… Holy Clarabelle Cow!

What happened to the rest of her body?!?! She’s been cut off at the waist. Oh, dear, I think I know where Pluto got that big bone for his door…

So, to be honest, Disney, this holiday decoration makes my head hurt with its lack of logic and brings to mind morbid questions which doesn’t seem like the ideal holiday spirit mindset. I know it’s been discontinued for years but I’ve been staring at it all night and you authorized the damn thing so someone has to answer for it.

Perhaps I’m a little overtired from having had to spend the last 3 hours trying to hack into my own YouTube account by way of my 7 thousand Google accounts or maybe its just the madness finally overtaking me but I think the only way to class this post up is to show Mickey and Minnie giving each other sexy come hither looks.

“Yoo Hoo! Oh, Mickey! Come to bed! I’ve got a little surprise for you!”
“Gosh! Oh Boy! Be right up!”

No wonder Pluto moved out. Who’d want to live with those two going at it all day?