Another year older

Tomorrow is my birthday. Today is my last day as 33. Not a particularly milestone-y birthday but I wanted to note something about it before it passed.

One thing that completely escaped my notice last year was that I was apparently living my life right on schedule according to this Five for Fighting song:

I’m 33 for a moment.
Still the man, but you see I’m a “they.”
A kid on the way, babe.
A family on my mind.

It’s a great song if a bit depressing for how fast they go through an entire lifetime, making you realize how short life really is. But I heard it on the radio shortly after my daughter was born and had this weird moment when I realized that, I was in the exact moment in life as the person in this verse and that was strange. I’m not one of those people who dread birthdays or aging though I think it’s impossible to see your age tick up a number and not feel something a little wistful at the passage of time.

I don’t feel old per say but I am weirdly comforted by the fact that the 33 verse is the 3rd age of 6 they sing about in the song giving me the feeling that I should at least have a long way to go. But even if I look at the best case scenario of my living until I’m 100 or so, that still means I’m 1/3 of the way through. On one hand, my life so far has felt wonderfully long so it’s nice to imagine having that twice again over but, at the same time, even knowing that there’s a cap on it somewhere makes any amount left seem like not enough.

I guess no amount feels like enough when you’re happy and in the prime of your life. And no one knows what the future actually holds. Reality has a tendency to disregard your private plans.

I guess that sounds depressing and I know some of you are getting your dander up because you’ve got a stack of years on me and who am I to talk about old. 🙂 All I’m saying is that sometimes it’s nice to remember that the best birthday present you get every year IS the present itself and to never take a single day for granted no matter what age you are. As I cross over the border of one of the wildest and best years of my life, amazed at all the ways the future can change for the better in such a short amount of time, I make a promise to myself to cherish this present best of all.

And I hope all of you will to.

PS: Today is also my grandfather’s birthday who is 92, awesome, and in better health than some 20 year olds I know.  Seriously, I don’t care who you are, he could kick your butt right this minute. He’s a serious badass! I love him so much. 🙂